Haircuts, Toss-ups and Trust

 Trust — It is something we all work so hard to gain from others and it is something that we have tried to teach our children about. We ask them to trust us as their parents, to trust in each other, to trust in the family and friends who surround them, and to trust themselves. While we talk about trust and have disciplined our kids for little white lies and explained to them that such lies mean we have to rebuild that trust all over again, I think that the best way to teach trust is through living it. I trust my sisters and my brother to do the right thing, I trust my parents to always be there for me, I trust my husband to love and cherish me, and I trust my children and nieces and nephews to learn and grow into exceptional people. I don't know why I trust like this, I think it is just through living life. I think a life filled with trust is a better life so I hope all the children in my life end up living lives filled with trust. Maybe they can get started by trusting their cousin to toss them up in the air and catch them or by trusting their father to cut their hair (check out the op ed below).  It's all about trust …

All I Want For Christmas is a Pair of Clippers
by Joe Cardona

The difference between a good haircut and a bad one is just about a week, so I remind my five sons as I clip away. Although they occasionally complain about my technique, let alone my abilities, they know our sessions are something special.

I first raised a set of clippers and comb after taking my eldest son to Butch the Barber for his first cut. Butch’s shop is one of those “men only” domains where the talk is salty and the stories are more exaggerated with each visit. You gotta love it, though.

After all the tears and the wrestling I couldn’t help sit back and wonder, “That’s it?”  It took Butch less than 10 minutes!  I could certainly do that. The heck with the male bonding of the shop, I could save a few bucks.

From that day 16 years ago, none of my five sons have set foot in a barbershop or salon. And I believe it is one of the best decisions I have ever made.

It took a few cuts­­—my wife would say “a few years”—to get the knack for juggling clippers, combs and scissors, but today I consider myself a master barber. Well, maybe not a master, but I haven’t lost an ear yet.  Bloodied one or two, but have lost none.

Every two months or so, not only do my five sons line up for their cuts, but also my two nephews and the occasional friend who has the misfortune of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Although there are still the occasional tears, even from the 16 year old, I would like to believe that they understand that the haircut is our special bond. Yes, I have coached them in every sport possible, but there is nothing like having them put their full faith in you, to completely trust you to do the right thing with something as personal as a haircut. Trust me, it’s a special feeling for a father.

My third son, Collin, reaffirmed my feelings about the specialness of the father/son haircut when we recently talked about his curly rat’s nest. I joked with him about what he was going to do for a haircut in college. His response, I’m always coming home to you, dad.

Christmas came early for me. As you put your Christmas wish list together, be sure to ask for a set of clippers. It’ll be a gift that will reward you and your children for years to come.

The author, Joe Cardona, resides in Elmer, NJ, with his wife, Joellen Collins-Cardona, and their five sons.